How do you convince someone without pushing? What steps do you take when you have a disagreement with a customer or colleague? Do you feel that emotions sometimes overwhelm you? Or are you ready for more depth in your personal development? In all cases: communication is key.
NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) is an effective communication technique that we often see in the workplace, from business to social services. Curious what NLP can mean for you personally and how you can apply it to your role? We take you with us.
NLP is a technique for improving your communication and personal development. You do this by becoming aware of your patterns, behavior and communication. Why does every person react differently? Through an internal process, these sensory perceptions are transformed into communication and behavior. These are based on unique experiences or events, such as images, sounds, smells and tastes or the internal dialogue with yourself. This creates recurring thought patterns and behaviors. NLP teaches you to look at these in a different way, in order to make changes in your communication and behavior and achieve better results. How can you get started?
You can take the most important step toward change by getting behind the wheel of the bus of your life. This metaphor makes the difference between focusing on cause, or focusing on effect. By getting behind the wheel yourself and literally determining the course of events yourself (cause) or sitting in the back, waiting to see what the driver does and then sitting around complaining that that’s not what you would do (effect).
Often people sit in the back of the bus, they are guided by “the bus driver,” or circumstances. Think about an employee who complains about the current way of working, but doesn’t take action to actually change anything. These persons don’t often take advantage of opportunities, in fact, concrete results or a solution are often lacking. The think in problems a lot. Not really efficient. But by sitting in the front of the bus, you automatically become someone who thinks in terms of possibilities
When you sit in the front of the bus, the focus is on the cause, which ensures that you exhibit proactive behavior and take back control. In this way you learn to give a different meaning to the situation, so you automatically deal with it differently. So ask yourself the question: what can I do about it now?
Try to notice in yourself in which situations you focus on problems and how you can think this into concrete solutions. You do this by remaining curious. Curious about your own patterns, but also about your colleagues and clients. For example, when a colleague talks in a way that you can’t follow, show curiosity about why someone acts that way. In this way you become open to other views and learn how to communicate more meaningfully with that person. And also with that, you take steps to get behind the wheel.
Getting started yourself? Below you will find 3 exercises and techniques that you can immediately apply in your (working) life.
3 observation positions for complete overview
Using the 3-position technique you learn to look differently at situations and you get the full overview. This technique also provides insight into yourself and how you can work with change. Useful for different occasions, such as getting your colleagues to go along with an idea or exerting influence in a difficult context. You do this by taking three different positions.
In the first position you become aware of yourself and your opinion. You do that by asking yourself what you really want, what you think is important and how you feel about it.
In the second position you step into the shoes of the other, for example your colleague or your team. In doing so, you really try to experience for a moment what it is like to be on the other side. What does this person probably feel? And how do you look at yourself when you view the situation from this perspective? Once you have answers to these questions, you can think about what it would take to improve the situation.
In the final role, you view yourself as a consultant who has nothing to do with the situation. You study the situation with a helicopter view to see what is really going on. In other words, as an outsider.
Finally, you return to the first position to review your feelings and make a decision in what to do.
Relive success experiences as a source of inspiration
Your behavior realizes a certain result. And positive energy can give you self-confidence and thus offer insight into what is strategically the best choice. In addition, success encourages you to keep going and to achieve more and more. This is a fine technique for encouraging employees.
Think of a success situation for yourself. What happened then? What mood was I in, how did my body feel? And what thoughts shot through my head and what behavior belonged to that? And the most important question of all: What makes me feel so good? Hold on to that and you will be inspired to pursue that feeling again.
Use your imagination to get in the best possible mood
Performing your own work optimally or ensuring that your colleagues perform at their maximum? Get yourself in the best possible mood. This applies not only psychologically, but also physically. It is important that you are well rested and thus take good care of yourself. Because with empathy, belief in your own abilities and therefore the best mood, you will automatically perform at your strongest. And in this way you can really make good contact with your colleagues and clients, so that you also enjoy your working relationships.
Practice, practice, practice
It is important to keep practicing. And certainly keep experimenting with the infinite techniques that NLP offers. So that you move yourself and your employees from consciously incompetent to unconsciously competent. But keep the focus; one thing at a time. Because rest and relaxation are also very powerful tools.
Realize that sometimes you have to fall down, but as long as you get up and keep going, you will actually experience the benefits of NLP. In NLP there are no failures, only feedback. We wish you much success and above all fun in discovering the benefits of NLP for your organization.